Internet Addiction
Do you ever feel like your days are slipping away from you? Whenever you have 20 minutes of downtime, are you reaching for your phone are you opening social media, scrolling through Reddit, or playing a phone game? Do you lose track of how many hours you spend online and feel guilty about it afterward?
Maybe you suspect your internet use is something you could work on… but you’re not really sure how to go about it.
I offer judgment-free therapy for people seeking to regain control over their internet and technology use.
Internet addiction isn’t currently recognized as a diagnosis by the DSM-V, but I believe it’s one of the most important concerns of our digital age.
Scrolling through social media, internet shopping, watching videos, browsing Reddit, watching porn, or playing video games are not inherently bad or shameful things. But if your internet use is getting in the way of your life — damaging your relationships, undermining your performance at work, or negatively impacting your self-worth and self-esteem — then it’s worth taking a closer look at how (and how much) you use the internet.
If you’re concerned you or a loved one may have an internet addiction, click here to take a short questionnaire.
What is Internet Addiction?
Internet addiction can take on many forms and severity can vary. Generally, I think of internet addiction as the inability to balance your time off and online, which results in psychological distress and damage to your relationships, work, and well-being. You might find your home life, your work, your mental state, and/or your relationships are being negatively impacted by how much time you spend glued to your phone or computer screen.
Life is tough in and of itself and we all use various coping mechanisms to get through it. Addiction can start when we excessively rely upon a coping mechanism to the point where it begins to negatively impact our lives. You might find your home life, your work, your mental state, and/or your relationships are being negatively impacted by how much time you spend glued to your phone or computer screen. What was once a choice, is now a compulsion.
There are serious neurological and psychological components of internet addiction (as with any addiction) that deserve time and attention. You’ve probably heard of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Our dopamine level rises when we anticipate or do something pleasurable. Afterward, we experience a low, causing us to reach for just one more drink… just one more episode… or just one more match of that video game.
Internet addiction causes real suffering and damage and it deserves to be taken seriously.
In individual online therapy for internet addiction, you will be supported and listened to so you can safely explore the root of this addiction.
Together, we’ll turn self-loathing into self-love and self-respect. We’ll discuss what healthy internet use looks like for you and practice setting boundaries around the ways in which you use the web. No matter how hopeless your situation seems right now, know this:
You have the power to change your relationship with the internet and improve your life.
How Bay Area Internet Addiction Therapy Can Help
Together we’ll explore the why behind your internet addiction. Oftentimes addictive relationships are a symptom of something else. Why are you turning to these outlets? What is driving you to these apps, websites, pornography use, or games?
There can be a lot of shame associated with addictive behaviors. You may struggle with the phrase “internet addiction” or not want the label of “internet addict.” I’m not here to shame, judge, or label you. I will ask you tough questions and I hope, in time, you will give me honest answers.
If you feel like your internet usage is causing you suffering or damaging your health, happiness, work, and relationships, then internet addiction therapy in the Bay Area can help.
How Internet Addiction Therapy in the Bay Area Works:
Internet addiction differs from other addictions as complete abstinence isn’t possible in today’s society and therefore is not the goal of treatment. Instead, the goal of treatment is to get you to a healthy place with your internet use. A place where you feel good about yourself and your actions. We want to get you to a place where you’re able to live a full life — where you’re also nurturing joyful hobbies, activities and relationships offline.
The Process
This can vary from person to person depending on a multitude of factors but largely comes down to how long, how often, and how intensely you’ve been engaging in this behavior. At first, there is an average of about a one-month “detox” period where you’re limiting your internet use (within reason, given that most of us rely on the internet for work). In this phase, time will be spent developing trust and reducing your anxiety and psychological distress during your detox. We’ll begin to examine your reliance on the internet, cut back the time spent online, and replace internet use with healthier coping mechanisms.
I’ll teach you mindfulness techniques so you can acknowledge the emotion of wanting to reach for your phone or computer without getting lost in that dysregulation, and explore what you may be trying to dysregulate from.
We’ll explore the internet addiction loop, and over time, you’ll develop a tolerance for not engaging in your past patterns.
I’m not going to lie to you, this work is hard. It can be painful. But it does get easier with time. As someone who went through this struggle myself, trust me when I say — it’s worth it. I will be there with you every step of the way.
Over time, as you develop healthier coping skills, we’ll look at the origins of this addiction. Perhaps it stems from early childhood trauma, struggles in your relationships, mental health difficulties like anxiety or depression, or just the challenge of being a living being in this world.
When you develop a healthier relationship with technology, other areas of your life will start to open up. You’ll have the time and space to get back into hobbies you used to love. Your social and work life will start to improve. And you’ll start to feel like you’re getting your life back.
Here are some of the things my clients and I address in online internet addiction therapy in the Bay Area:
Concerns surrounding porn, camming, or cyber-sex behaviors (feeling the compulsion to watch porn and being unable to stop, spending a lot of time or money engaging with cyber-sex outlets, and maybe you’ve noticed what type of porn you’re watching has changed and that’s causing you distress too)
Compulsively seeking information on YouTube, Netflix, Reddit, or other sites
Losing track of time while you scroll through Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and other social media sites
Playing video games for hours or maybe even days on end
Coping with negative feelings surrounding and driving these behaviors such as self-loathing, anxiety, shame, depression, or sexual performance issues
Online gambling
Compulsive online shopping
Spending hours upon hours cycling through various technological outlets
Early childhood trauma
If you’re using the internet to avoid uncomfortable or painful feelings, difficulties in your past, or issues in your present — therapy can help.
I know how painful internet addiction can be. It can feel like a black hole you’re never going to crawl out of. Life might feel hopeless, meaningless, and utterly bleak. Is your internet usage is causing you suffering? Know this:
With help, you can get this under control.
I will be a supportive therapeutic guide and also an accountability partner.
I’ll ask you important questions like:
What would your life look like if treatment went perfectly?
What do you hope to get out of therapy?
What’s your motivation for coming here?
How was the behavior originally adaptive?
What’s on the other side of this struggle?
What have you let slip away that you want to reclaim?
Finding a healthier way to use the internet is worth it.
Still Not Sure?
If you’re still not convinced internet addiction therapy is for you, then you may be thinking:
“So I’m online a lot. So what? What’s wrong with that?”
If your internet usage is robbing you of the life you desire and know deep down that you deserve, it’s time to examine why you’re spending so much time online to the detriment of your work, relationships, and play.
Take the questionnaire below to see if you are at risk or could be experiencing an internet-based addiction.
Internet Addiction Questionnaire
Note this is not an official diagnosis but just a self-assessment.
Not Sure If You Need Therapy?
Maybe you took the assessment and scored at low risk. Maybe you just took stumbled upon my website by accident and decided to click around. Maybe you realize there is a problem, but you truly just don’t feel ready for therapy.
Whatever the reason is…
I still want to help you.
I’m putting together a free document with information and tips on how to get your life back in order. I’ve done a lot of research to try and distill this information to be as quick to read and easy to understand as possible. Topics on the document include:
What exactly constitutes an addiction
A concise overview of the neuroscience of behavioral addiction
My vetted software recommendations to reduce technology use
Hardware recommendations for managing technology usage
Tips on lifestyle changes that are guaranteed to have you feeling better
