About Me
Hey, I’m Jake.
I believe healing our struggles (anxiety, depression, etc.) as a man is directly correlated to unpacking the masculine narrative we have been fed. Rewriting that story starts by cultivating a safe space where you can be honest, emotional, and vulnerable about what's really going on inside. In therapy, we get to do just that.
It’s not often men feel safe and comfortable having emotional conversations with other men, but as your therapist, we can break free of that. I often hear from my clients that “you are the only person I’ve ever told this to.” I truly feel honored to hold your story with you.
Our work together will explore the seen and the unseen patterns in your behaviors and thoughts that are impacting your happiness. In a therapeutic setting, you can experience what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be accepted exactly as you are, which will help you build trust and confidence in other areas of your life.
When working with me, you can expect to be supported, thoughtfully challenged, and treated with respect. I will encourage you to embrace all parts of yourself, especially those parts you feel uncomfortable or ashamed of. I operate from a place of warmth and acceptance rather than judgment. I will encourage you to see yourself with compassion and empathy rather than criticism.
How I Practice
Psychodynamic
A type of psychotherapy that explores unconscious thoughts, feelings, and experiences to gain insight into the underlying motivations and drives of human behavior.
Relational
A type of therapy that focuses on relationships and interpersonal dynamics to gain insight into their emotional and psychological challenges and to promote healing and growth.
Integrative
A type of psychotherapy that combines elements of multiple therapeutic modalities such and theories to address the unique needs and goals of each individual client.
I work primarily from a psychodynamic approach. Together, we’ll look at how patterns established in childhood are cropping up in your life as an adult. All of our human behaviors are learned and stick around because they serve a function — even the maladaptive ones. Often men are shamed or criticized for the ways they cope. Binge drinking, porn consumption, workaholism, stonewalling, smoking, emotional avoidance — these are all coping mechanisms that men frequently turn to — often to the detriment of their health and relationships.
You don't have to face this all alone. Together we will look at your coping mechanisms with curiosity and kindness. Therapy will teach you healthier coping skills without shaming you so you can make decisions that support your well-being, happiness, and personal growth.
When we look at human behavior with curiosity and kindness rather than criticism, we create space for change to blossom.
Incorporating mindfulness practices into my work with clients is a cornerstone of my practice. Reconnecting with the self often starts with reconnecting with the breath and simply noticing, without judgment, what arrives in the places of stillness.
I have a longstanding interest in contemplative traditions, which includes a deep study in Zen Buddhism and meditation. I studied Religion and Cultural Studies as well as Buddhism for my undergraduate degree in college. And as an adventurous, free-spirited individual, I was drawn to Buddhism, Taoism, and other Eastern Asian religions and spiritual traditions.
Over time, through therapy, meditation, and mindfulness practices, I began healing my relationship with myself. Learning to sit with my feelings, becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable, understanding my triggers, and learning how my deeper wounds were impacting how I showed up gave me the courage to create long-lasting change to live more from my authentic self.
Connecting more deeply with myself and my experience as it is, offered me more agency in how I choose to show up in my relationships, my work, and in the world as a whole. I wish the same for you. And as your therapist, I want you to know change is possible.
I believe so deeply in the idea of coming home to ourselves, and through that, we can then be in the right relationship with others. Therapy is a way to take all the pieces of ourselves that have been abandoned and bring them into balance and wholeness.
Men’s Work
I help men integrate their experiences and embrace mindful masculinity rather than compartmentalize, numb out, and live in survival mode.
It’s normal to be afraid that someone is really going to see through you if you reveal your vulnerability. That’s what you’ve been taught. You’ve been taught to fear and judge the parts of yourself that are emotional, vulnerable, or seeking help. You unconsciously see vulnerability as weakness. But you also know that avoiding your feelings and acting like everything is fine just isn’t cutting it anymore.
It’s time to take a modern approach to masculinity.
I’m passionate about unpacking the harmful version of masculinity you and I were taught to embody. Because the truth is, it’s just not working. It leaves us feeling disempowered, disconnected and dysregulated.
When you hear the word “masculinity,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
I’ll bet it’s the phrase toxic masculinity. Well, I believe in mindful masculinity, which is cultivated when you make a conscious effort to examine the ways in which you’ve been conditioned to interact with the world, other people, and yourself.
The lessons you’ve learned, especially unconsciously, are worth examining. Together we’ll go through these imposed beliefs and values. We’ll determine which ingrained beliefs you want to take with you and which ones you want to leave behind. You have the power to rewrite your own story and build yourself up to the life you deserve.
I will offer you a judgment-free place to do that.
Maybe you’re here because you’re stressed out, apathetic, and tired of feeling so damn bad all the time. Maybe you’re here because your partner is urging you to seek help.
Whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here.
Men typically resist seeking mental health treatment. Why? We’re taught to suffer in silence. To just “deal with it.” To “look on the bright side.” You may even be scared of what will come out in therapy – what if you cry? What if you acknowledge the pain… and then you can’t stop?
Let me tell you this, you will be okay; in fact, you will feel so much better once you do.
As an online Bay Area therapist, I can help.
My role as an online therapist in the Bay Area is to help you honor the disavowed parts of yourself so you can fully integrate your experiences and heal.
In our sessions, I will model healthy masculinity by embracing my own vulnerability and encourage you to do the same. When you connect with yourself and create space for your authentic experience, you’re changing your relationship with masculinity. And I truly believe that healthy, mindful masculinity can change the world. Working with men gives me hope. Because when we become gentler, more compassionate, kinder humans toward ourselves, so too do we change how we show up in the world.
Online therapy makes it easy to see a therapist in the Bay Area from the comfort of your home.
Ready to embrace positive change? Click the button below to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to connecting with you.
